Boys Will Be Boys

My husband and his nephew slamming the cheese. Can you believe that his nephew is the one who snapped the shot one the left? Do we see a future in photography for this kid or what?

Boys will be boys, which I saw in proof at my nephew's fifth birthday party. The kids were playing a game called "Slam the Cheese." It entailed running towards a giant wedge-shaped gym mat and then knocking it flat by hurling one's body at it. After the kids had gone, the party coordinator asked if there were any parents who wanted to take a gander at the cheese. I, of course, volunteered my husband. I figured he would reluctantly oblige with a token cheese-slamming, but noooooo - He sprinted at that cheese, gaining such momentum that he was airborne before slamming into it with the force of ten linebackers. I swear the building shuddered when he landed. As he the dusted himself off, I could tell he was secretly satisfied by the thorough slamming the cheese had suffered at his hands.

My young son was also exhibiting some typically male behavior. I'd handed him to my sister-in-law's friend so I could inhale some pizza in peace. While I was eating, I glanced over and to my horror saw that Benjamin was also eating - or at least attempting to eat. He had turned his face towards my friend's chest and was having his way with her right breast. If that wasn't bad enough, he was leaving a telltale wet mark on her sweater. I was mortified. What kind of man was I raising? As the mortification subsided, the hurt set in. Why did he feel the need to turn to other women? Was he not getting what he needed from me? I soon realized, however, that his oral fixation was just that and nothing personal, for when no breast is readily available, he is content to suck on his fist.

Hopefully one day he'll outgrow the oral fixation. After all, who wants to see a grown man walking around sucking on his fist? I will, however, be more than happy to watch him conduct the occasional cheese-slamming with his father.

Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Boy

And to think I was worried that motherhood would be boring.

Male Bonding

It's no secret that Oliver has been less than thrilled by Benjamin's arrival in his kingdom. On top of the fact that he's been robbed of our time and attention, his physical space is also diminishing. He used to count the entire main floor as his puggy domain, but now he has to share it with a myriad of baby-related items - a pack-n-play, activity mat, infant swing, various baby carriers, and - worst of all - a big green exercise ball.

You're probably wondering what an exercise ball has to do with babies (other than the fact that I should be using it to restore my postpartum tummy to it's pre-pregnancy shape), but let me tell you, it is a LIFESAVER when Benjamin is being fussy. At first whimper, I just pick him up, sit my tush on the ball, and start bouncing up and down. Voila! It tames the savage beast every time. Unfortunately, the ball has the exact opposite effect on Oliver. He is absolutely terrified of it and will go so far as to hide in another room away from food and water when it rolls near. Hopefully, he can make peace with the ball, so that he and Benjamin can continue working on their shaky relationship.

The relationship between father and son, on the other hand, is growing stronger every day. In Benjamin, Vince has found a male ally with whom to play video games, make a mess at mealtimes, and fall asleep without first brushing his teeth. It's a good thing they're both so cute, or else I'd be forced to put the smack down on their bad behavior. Also, it's not like Benjamin is picking up any truly heinous habits from his father, though I was somewhat bemused to happen upon the scene below...

All he needs is a beer in his hand to complete the tableau.

Courvoisier, Anyone?

We discovered this weekend that Benjamin has a thing for the ladies. Vince's cousin Ed, his wife Grace, and their kids Hana and Jet were in town, so they dropped by to visit. As you can see from the images above, Benjamin was perfectly happy to pose for pictures next to Hana. The smile doesn't even leave his face when he loses balance and starts tipping over. But it's a different story when we try to get him to take a picture with Hana's brother Jet. Man, it was like pulling teeth. Or it would have been if he'd had any teeth to pull.

Even newlywed Lisa wasn't safe from Benjamin's advances. Look at him shamelessly flash his flirty eyes and then resort to stripping off his clothes to win her affections. It's a good thing Lisa's husband doesn't know what a little lothario my son is, because otherwise she wouldn't be allowed to visit us anymore.

Lest Benjamin grow up to rely on his brawn and not his brains, I purchased an educational book for him at the neighborhood library book fair. The book was appropriately entitled "Dinosaur Ben." I'm referring to the "Ben" part, of course, and not the "Dinosaur." Anyhow, Benjamin's reaction to the book was startlingly similar to his reaction to baby Jet. Could it be that he didn't inherit my love of books? Banish the thought! I think the solution is to invite one of his pretty aunties over to read to him. Maybe if he can keep his clothes on long enough, he'll learn something!