I used to dread cold season when the kids were younger. Because of their blood disorder, run-of-the-mill sniffles would lead to a fall in their hemoglobin, which would lead to pale, yellowish skin, which would lead me to take them for blood tests, which would sometimes lead to blood transfusions. No fun! By their first birthdays, my little vampires had each received a bunch of blood transfusions, but as they got older, they needed them less and less. So I have to admit I got complacent. I'd see them looking pale and yellow and think to myself, "Well, they're always anemic... So they're just fiiiine." And when they started looking REALLY yellow like a real-life Bart and Lisa , I'd say to myself, "Well, they're anemic AND they're Asian... So they're still fiiiine." Luckily, they have amazing people in their lives who aren't quite as inured to their sallow complexions and who aren't shy about speaking up when they'e looking a little too Simpson-esque. That's what happened a few weeks ago when the director of B's preschool, the wonderful Ms. Romy, called me up to tell me that she thought he was looking a bit off. I drove to his school right away, but though I thought he did look pale, he was going to be fine. After all, it had been over a year since his last tranfusion. Even so, Ms. Romy insisted that I take him to the doctor for testing. I remember thinking to myself, "Geez, she's pushy!" but I grudgingly schlepped our asses to the ER anyway. And thank God I did, because Ms. Romy was right - Benjamin was, indeed in need of a transfusion. Thank you, Ms. Romy!
I know... It's been ages since my last post. So that means that now that I'm finally writing, I should have something phenomenally, fantabulously exciting to report, right? Well, no. Not really. See, the thing that's finally inspiring me to update you isn't all that exciting or important. It's not a milestone, a major occurence, or anything to really write home about. Not that there hasn't been a lot going on in our lives. Come to think of it, there have been any number of things that I could have devoted multiple blog posts to. Such as our recent trip to Hawaii.
What made this trip so remarkable was that we took it sans kids. Yup - our first vacation as a couple since our first child was born! A real grown-up vacation! One that included real grown-up meals in real grown-up restaurants followed by dimly-lit, romantic and passionate real grown-up se-- Nevermind.
We had greatly anticipated this trip for months before, so it seemed like a cruel trick that seemingly everything we saw reminded us in some way of our two rugrats. Sigh. Guess that's parenthood for you.
A week after our trip to Hawaii, we packed up the entire family for a trip to Asia. The excruciating plane ride over there deserves a blog post all its own. The thirteen hour flight broke down like this:
HOUR 1 - Calliope sleeps. I give myself a smug pat on the back and start reading People magazine.
HOUR 2 - Calliope abruptly wakes up, realizes she's in a tin can hurtling through thin air and begins to wail.
HOURS 3-8 - Calliope does an incredible impersonation of Linda Blair in the Exorcist. I alternate between feeling horrified by the realization that I am the parent of THAT screaming baby on the plane and being in awe of my daughter's sheer stamina.
HOUR 9 - Calliope passes out. I use the restroom for the first time in eight hours.
HOURS 10-12 - Calliope wakes up and stays calm enough to eat something and watch the first five minutes of all two dozen DVDs I've brought with me about five times each.
HOUR 13 - Calliope starts to get upset again and ramps up for another epic Linda Blair impersonation. Thankfully, we land before her head starts spinning.
Torturous flight notwithstanding, our stay in Taiwan was wonderful. It was great to visit with family we hadn't seen in years and introduce our relatives to Vince and the kids.
After Taiwan, we flew to Singapore, the country where I lived before going to college, and the place I consider home. We visited various museums, historical locales, famous restaurants, old friends and the world-reknowned zoo, but what did the kids love the most about Singapore?
The bed in our Four Seasons hotel room.
Aside from the bed, I think what made the biggest impression on them during our Asia trip were the various modes of transport. Forget national monuments or breathtaking natural vistas. Bring on the planes, trains, and automobiles (not to mention the subways and monorails). Speaking of modes of transport, I picked up a nice souvenir while I was in Singapore - a nice new stroller. I also got a nice new...
...tattoo! Well, technically I didn't get a NEW tattoo; I simply added onto an existing one. You see that dragon? That's the tattooI got on my last trip back to Singapore in 2001. See the cherry blossoms and the Chinese characters? That's the new part. In case you're wondering what the characters say, it's "midlife crisis." Just kidding! It's the kids' Chinese names.
I was lucky enough to have the same guy who's been tattooing me since I was a teen give me my latest one. His name's Chak, and he's the one who gave me the dragon tattoo eleven years before, as well as some of my other ink. When I first met him 18 years ago, he was just one of the artists at Johnny Two Thumbs Tattoo. Now he owns the place. I'm hoping that that means that when I go back again in another ten years, he'll still be there to add the names of all my new children to my arm. ;)
It seemed like we barely had a chance to recover from the jetlag of our Asia trip before the holiday season got into full swing.
Keeping the Asian theme going, Benjamin melted our hearts with with a spirited rendition of "Jingle Bell Wok" in the preschool holiday show.
Then before we knew it, Christmas was here! We got the best gift ever when Benjamin rode a two-wheeled bike (with no training wheels!) on Christmas Day.
Not to be outdone, Calliope decided to surprise us by giving up diapers a few days later.
Along with diapers, it looks like she also lost her sense of style. Luckily, her modeling career didn't suffer from her fashion faux pas.
Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to walk unawares into TJ Maxx and see a larger-than-life-size poster of your child hanging over your head? Most people don't realize that just because you're hired for a modeling job doesn't mean that the company that hired you tells you when or even if your photos! So believe me when I say that it was a shock to suddenly see this picture of Calliope. As for the pic on the right, that's for a costume company called Disguise. Little do they know, dressing my daughter up as a witch can hardly be called a "disguise."
The most recent of the many milestones that have happened since my last blog post was the kids' birthday. We celebrated with a rock star party at Music Stars and Masters in Westwood where Benjamin channeled Billy Joel and Calliope dressed up as an 80s fashion victim.
So you can see that a lot of pretty major things have happened, any one of which I could have devoted a blog post to. But it's not the big things that made me want to get off my butt and start writing. It's the little things.
Like the fact that Benjamin still doesn't understand a critical aspect of playing hide-and-seek.
Or my constant wonder at the size of my daughter's appetite...
...and temper. Lawd have mercy!
It's Benjamin's recent strange new creation, a creature he calls a "humpdacat."
And speaking of strange, it's Benjamin's cross-dressing tendencies. After he put this outfit on, he proclaimed that he was a Superman Princess. I find this endearing but distressing. Any child of mine should know that that cape doesn't go with that tutu!
So yes, it's the little things that want to share with you. Which brings me back to the first image in this post:
This is Calliope using a Nosefrida Snotsucker. On herself. The Nosefrida is a nasal aspirator for babies and children. The pointy end of the plastic receptacle goes in the nostril, the end of the tube goes in your mouth, you suck, and a little blue filter prevents you from gagging on your beloved's boogers. Yum! Last week, Calliope was sitting on her potty and somehow got her hands on this Nosefrida. I thought it was pretty funny that she was using it on herself, so I took a pic. A moment later, I heard the sound of bubbles blowing. I stopped and saw that she'd put the nostril end of the gadget into her potty and was blowing bubbles into her pee. WARNING: If you think that's gross, stop reading now. Ok, ready? The next thing I heard was silence, which I correctly assumed meant that she was now sucking her pee UP. EEK! I shrieked, grabbed it out of her hands, and took it apart to be cleaned. I was pleasantly surprised to find that none of her pee had made it past the filter into the tube. I guess that thing really does work!
You'd think that I'd be more excited to share stories of our world travels or my son's first bike ride than stories of my daughter sucking pee up with a nasal aspirator. But in a way, I'm not. I have a hunch that, more than these big trips, it'll be these little things which I'll remember and treasure in the years to come. You see, people take trips all the time. Everyone eventually gets potty trained (I think) and learns how to ride a bike (except for my mom who rides an adult-sized tricycle). And everyone has birthday parties. But humpdacats, Superman Princesses and unfortunate Nosefrida-pee incidents? Those are special, because those are the stories that make my babies all mine.
A friend of mine once characterized parenthood as "long days, short years." Yes, the days can feel long. Today, for example, was veeeerrrrry long. Maybe it was because it began at 5:30 am when Calliope woke up (woke up for good, that is - she'd already awakened previously just to say "Wassup?" at 1 am and then again at 3am). But then the years seem to flash by. I feel like it was just the other day I was washing and folding newborn onesies in anticipation of the birth of a baby who would be so small that he wouldn't be able to wear them until he was three months old. Now, that same tiny baby is a raucous preschooler who enjoys stomping in puddles and tormenting his little sister. And his little sister... Well, once she was born, time moved from light speed to warp speed. The past ten months have been a blur of milestones, birthdays, and holidays. And now it's Christmas. Where did the time go? Thank God I have a camera (or three) to overdocument every single moment, or I might think that it was all a dream.
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Since becoming a family, Vince and I have developed a few holiday traditions. Each year, we send out our holiday cards right after Thanksgiving. Each year, we add a new ornament to the tree that consists of a picture of the family inside a frame with the year on it. But one of our favorite traditions involves going out for a holiday dim sum with our dear friends and neighbors the Bowens. .
This tradition started the first year we met them. Benjamin was 10 months old, and Nolan was just over a year.
. It continued the following year when the boys were about two. .
Now, it's not just the two boys anymore. It's three boys, along with a little girl. In another year or two, there might be another little boy or girl in the mix. Just kidding, Vince! I know you said the baby factory's closed. . Despite the changes, some things do stay the same!
.Another wonderful tradition we have is spending time celebrating Christmas with our good friends Deb and George. They come over to our place to share a meal and also to spoil the kids rotten with too many presents. .
This year was no different - they came over for brunch on Christmas Eve and brought with them a ridiculous amount of gifts! .
Although the kids loved the new toys, what they really enjoyed was just hanging out with their favorite auntie and uncle. .
We spent the rest of Christmas Eve getting ready for the big day to come. That evening, we attended a candlelight service at my in-laws' church and then came home to relax.
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Rather, I relaxed, and Vince used some very un-Christmas-like language while attempting to assemble what was to be the kids' big gift. .
All that sweating and cursing was not in vain - their faces lit up when they saw the beribboned wagon on Christmas morning. We actually had to persuade them to get out of it so they could open the rest of their gifts. Actually, Benjamin was the only one we had to persuade. Calliope had no idea what was going on. .
Being only 10 months old, we expected her to enjoy the boxes and wrapping more than her actual gifts, but she surprised us by really taking to her new Remo floor tom. .
Benjamin's favorite gift was his Zoob set. He got to work right away building himself a little car. .
Calliope enjoyed playing with the Zoobs, too. Only she didn't build a car; she built a toothbrush. .
Later, we took the new wagon for a stroll around the neighborhood. There was almost no one out, and it was so quiet and serene. The only sounds were those of the wagon wheels turning on the hard concrete, Calliope giggling in her seat, and Benjamin giving us a running commentary on everything he saw. "Mama! Look!! A tree! A big tree! Mama, a car! A big red car! Car go VROOM! Oh, Daddy! DADDY, LOOK, A SQUIRREL! Squirrel go JUMPJUMPJUMP--" Ok, nevermind. Let's go back to that serenity. .
That evening, we went to Vince's parents' house for Christmas dinner. After stuffing ourselves silly with ham and sweet potatoes, we opened gifts. Tons and tons of gifts. It felt like each of us had a veritable mountain of gifts to get through. . The kids definitely had fun unwrapping all those presents, but I think what they really enjoyed was just spending time with one another.
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So I guess I've learned a few lessons this Christmas...
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Lesson #1: Holiday traditions are awesome. Let's keep 'em going!
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Lesson #2: The presence of loved ones mean far more to us than their presents, which is a good thing, because...
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Lesson #3: Sharing Christmas presents can be difficult. For some of us anyway.
Calliope watches her Uncle Ree slay some bad guys on the Xbox. Yes, Calliope - boys will be boys.
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The month of November was a busy one for the Chan Clan, but by far the coolest thing that happened in the midst of all the madness was that my little brother Leon (AKA"Ree") came to LA for a visit. When I found out that he would be spending his first Thanksgiving as a father alone (his wife and son were on an extended stay in Singapore with his in-laws), I told him he should come to LA to be with family. So he booked his flight and arrived on Thanksgiving, just in time...
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...to take this picture of Vince's family. Thanks, Ree! .Of course, the purpose of his visit was not only to serve as Chan family photographer. Leon was also here to meet his niece for the first time. As soon as he saw her, his voice went up about five octaves, and he squealed "Aw, Calliopeeeeee!! Hi, Calliopeeeeeeee!" It was as though he was going through puberty all over again. He was so smitten by her chubby cheeks and dimply drooliness that he called his wife Claire to inform her that they would not stop having kids until they had a daughter. Sorry, Claire!
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The day after Thanksgiving, we headed to the malls for some Christmas shopping. While I ran around scoring Black Friday deals, Leon bonded with the Boo and Calliope. They took to their Uncle Ree right away, which I think was due in part to the fact that he was willing to shell out seven bucks for that double-decker fire truck stroller that I've always been too cheap to pay for. Gee, thanks Uncle Ree - way to make Mommy look like a cheap bastard.
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We also took my brother to Third Street. We started out on the Promenade, where we ran into some friendly Santa Monica Firemen. Look at how hot they look... in all that heavy gear.
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For lunch, we stopped at a fancy-ish restaurant where I got distracted and accidentally dropped Calliope on her face. Luckily, she was fine. In fact, the above pic was taken after she fell. See how happy she looks? Water under the bridge! The only thing that was damaged by her unfortunate spill was my credibility as a mother. I swear I saw another diner pull out her cell phone and dial CPS. .On Sunday evening, it was time for Uncle Ree to board his plane and head back to Kansas City. I think Benjamin was pretty bummed. He'd gotten used to riding up high on Leon's shoulders. Sorry to disappoint you Benjamin, but I don't think it would be a good idea for Mommy to try doing that. She might get distracted and drop you on your face. .
So that wraps up the third and final installment of my November recap. Yeah, yeah, I realize that we're already halfway through December, but give me a break - last month was a killer! It took me a good two weeks to recover from my November madness and finally feel like I'm ready for the holidays. Christmas, here we come!
Back in mid-July, we took our first vacation as a family of four. Our destination? The far-off locale of San Diego! The main purpose of the trip was to meet up with Vince's cousins at Legoland, but we squeezed in some quality time with our favorite San Diegans (San Diegites? San Diegolos?) Mike, Kelly, and Sydney Williams. .
The last time we saw the Williams fam was about a year ago when Calliope was a bun in the oven and Kelly had washboard abs. Now, Kelly's the one with a bun in the oven, and I have washboard abs - not! By the way, Kelly has since delivered her baby, a beautiful little boy named Brandon! Congrats, Williams fam! .
The next morning, we met Vince's family at Legoland. I couldn't help but think back to my first trip to Legoland. It was at the end of 2005, and Vince and I had just started dating. The only kid on the scene was Vince's nephew Ryan. Now, the family tree is just lousy with littl'uns! Above, clockwise from top left: Vince, cousin Ed, and bro-in-law Mike; sister Adele, Ed's wife Grace, and Vince standing behind cousins Ryan and Tyler and second cousin Hana (who was our flower girl!); Hana; Hana's lil' brother Jet; Grace and Calliope. .
Last time we were here, Benjamin was too little to do much, but this time around, he had a great time!
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Calliope was definitely too small to know what was going on, but we did manage to capture this picture of her next to a calliope of a different sort!
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After a long day spent running around Legoland, both kids and grown-ups alike were beat. With smiles on our faces and our tummies full of fried amusement park food, we bid adieu and headed our separate ways.
You may be wondering why the title of this post is "Triple Whammy" and not "Benjamin's Return to Legoland" or "Our First Vacation as a Family of Four" or "Legoland Schmegoland." Well, it was inspired by the veritable dirge my husband repeated over and over AND OVER to anyone who would listen all weekend long. "Hey, Ed, how've the kids been? By the way, I have a Triple Whammy." "Can you get me a tissue? I can't move because of my Triple Whammy." "I can't help you put the kids to bed... I have a Triple Whammy." And what is this dreaded Triple Whammy? A case of tuberculosis, a gangrenous toe and a fractured skull? A migraine and two missing limbs? Nope. The Triple Whammy that so incapacitated my husband was a stiff neck, a head cold, and (drum roll) a canker sore. At one point, I was so exasperated by his Triple Whammy-induced paralysis that I remarked that I didn't complain half as much even after I'd had a c-section. His response? "Well, you didn't have a canker sore at the same time." And no, he wasn't joking when he said that!
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You also may be wondering why it took me till now to write about an event that happened over two months ago. Well, canker sore or no canker sore, I've been busy dealing with a Triple Whammy of my own: .
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