His Own Magic Kingdom

Vince and I aren't big fans of Disneyland. For us, Disneyland conjures up images of long lines, creaky old rides that end in shiny stores filled with expensive goodies, and overtired children cranky from too much sugar and stimulation. And what about those exorbitant ticket prices? We'd rather take the money we'd spend on one day at the Magic Kingdom and spend it on something else. Like a year of college tuition for Benjamin.

I guess it's a good thing that Benjamin finds his own home to be magical enough. His days are filled with exploring caves, banging on drums, and hunting for treasure. The best part is that we didn't have to spend a dime on any of it, because everything is right here already. Take a look at that picture of Benjamin above and on the right. He's sitting in front of a step stool holding a spatula, right? WRONG! He's actually sitting in front of a bongo drum holding a drumstick. And when he gets bored with his bongo drum, it will morph into something else, perhaps a walker, a climbing wall, or a table. And that spatula? He'll probably use it to poke Oliver in his oshiri. And then I'll use it at a later time to cook dinner. Ew, gross!

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I could fill pages listing the different "toys" Benjamin has discovered around the house, but I'll just name a few of his favorites. Before I do, however, I have to add a very important disclaimer: INSPECT ANY HOUSEHOLD OBJECT BEFORE GIVING IT TO A BABY. Make sure it's reasonably clean and free of potential choking hazards. And, of course, adult supervision is strongly suggested. Now on to the fun stuff...

Dryer balls - These spiky plastic balls are the perfect size for Benjamin's little hands to grasp, they don't roll too far away if dropped, and they make great teethers.

Empty tissue boxes - I remove any dangly plastic bits first, and then I stuff them with objects of varying textures and sizes for Benjamin to discover: nylon bibs, small toys, and baby washcloths, to name a few.

Empty cardboard boxes - The mega-size diaper box pictured above has been reincarnated as a clubhouse, table, toy chest, and/or hiding place. Make sure that any boxes you use are free from staples, old tape, or dangling flaps.

Gladware - This is a favorite! Smaller Gladware containers are the perfect size for Benjamin to bang together as noisemakers or to chew on. Larger ones can be turned into rattles by filling them with baby-safe objects such as pacificiers, spoons, or plastic toy links. I'll also dangle toys off of the lip of the containers with plastic toy links.

Paper - I had to include one section devoted just to paper. Benjamin LOVES paper: tissue paper, magazines, wrapping paper, waxed paper, and the list goes on. He loves the satisfying sound it makes when he balls it up or flaps it around, and he loves how it changes shape based on how he crinkles, folds, or rips it. When we finally got window treatments for the big windows in his playroom, I stuck the temporary shade we no longer needed onto the sliding glass door, and watched Benjamin amuse himself with it. He crawled beneath it like it was a cave. He grabbed it with his hands, shrieking with delight at the sound it made. He sat quietly and observed the sun streaming through it. It was such a treat watching him enjoy himself in this simple way.

I could also devote an entire section to the things around the house that I'd rather he NOT turn into toys. Oliver's water bowl is one. My stash of expensive yarn is another. I've learned to remove both from his reach when he's on the prowl.

The most prized "toy" in Benjamin's Magic Kingdom, however, is always within his reach. This toy has served as climbing wall, armchair, jumperoo, hammock, and jungle gym.

And you know what's kinda neat thing about this particular toy? There's not one, but TWO, of them! So if one wears out, there's always the other one to step in and keep the little guy going.

The Backseat Pug 3 and Postpartum Top Fives

The Backseat Pug vs. The Angry Tomato. The photo on the left was taken as Vince and I left for the hospital to have Benjamin.

The second question on everyone's lips (after "How is motherhood??? Isn't it GREAT????") is "How is Oliver doing?" I have to admit that he has been quite neglected. I didn't think it would happen, but Oliver has, indeed, taken a backseat to the Tiny Dictator. Hubby asked me the other day if I'd been paying attention to the Pug. I looked down at the spit-up and milk-stained sweats I'd been living in all week, gazed longingly at the shower that I hadn't used in two days, and quelled a rumble in my empty stomach that had yet to be fed although it was afternoon already and told him, "No, I haven't been paying attention to anyone." I have faith that in time, both Oliver and I will make a comeback though. He'll finally get another marathon walk around the neighborhood with me and I will finally get to brush my teeth for two days in a row!

I'm going to use my Hubby's pointed question about the state of Oliver's care to segue into the next part of this post.

Top Five Things Not to Say to Your Wife Right After Your Baby is Born
# 5. "Have you been paying attention to the dog?"
# 4. "Chinese food again?"
# 3. "I can't get the door right now... I have to beat this high score."
# 2. "My jeans feel tight right now."
# 1. "I've been averaging only five hours of sleep a night."

In the "Top Five" spirit, here are a few other Postpartum Top Fives for you...

Top Five Books
# 5. Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali
# 4. The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins
# 3. Down Came the Rain by Brooke Shields
# 2. The Baby Book by Sears and Sears
# 1. The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp

Top Five Postpartum Lifesavers
# 5. My Brest Friend - It allows me to nurse Benjamin and check emails (i.e. stay in touch with the real world) at the same time.
# 4. Glamourmom nursing tanks
# 3. Baby wraps and slings
# 2. The Pump Station
# 1. OTHER MOMS

I can't emphasize that last one enough. As I touched on in a previous post, other moms (especially my own) are what have kept me from jumping out of my skin and off of my balcony on an almost daily basis.

Speaking of my previous post, Benjamin has decided to continue working on his dance moves. Instead of Fosse, he's taken up the Macarena.

Before I go, I want to quickly comment on that first Top Five List. To be completely fair, my husband has been the perfect partner through our postpartum odyssey. He's taken on nighttime baby-calming duties, taken my PPD meltdowns in stride, made it a point to tell me that I look like I never had a baby (good one, Vince!) and dutifully refused to work late since the baby was born. So I won't begrudge him the occasional foot-in-mouth comment, though I will draw the line at more than two consecutive hours of video game playing. But you know what they say about boys: They will be boys. And it is my fervent hope that my little boy will grow up to be just like his Dad.

Pregnancy Top Fives

Now that I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy, I thought I'd take a moment to recap some of its highs and lows. You may remember my promising in the very first post that this blog would contain no bitching or complaining about anything other than knitting or Oliver. I may have to bend the rules a little here, because - as every pregnant woman (and pregnant woman's husband) knows - one of the benefits of being pregnant is having carte blanche to whine without restraint about your pregnancy. So hang on to your britches, 'cause here we go...

Top Five Food Cravings

# 5. Edamame with kosher salt (first trimester)

# 4. Salad (second and third trimesters)
# 3. Clementines, eaten two or three at a time (beginning of third trimester)
# 2. Triscuits with sharp cheddar cheese (third trimester)
# 1. Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal with Vanilla Soy Milk (the whole damn time)

Top Five Size-Related Comments That I Didn't Mind Hearing

# 5. "You're really getting big!" (said while standing in front of me looking at my belly)
# 4. "You look like you're due any day now!"
# 3. "You look like you have a basketball in there!"

# 2. "It's so pointy!"
# 1. "You're beautiful." (said by my husband. We'll forget his previous camel comment. For now.)

Top Five Size-Related Comments That Filled Me with Homicidal Rage

# 5. "You're really getting big!" (said while walking behind me looking at God-knows-what)

# 4. "Your face looks fuller!"

# 3. "Wow, you've gotten bigger... all over!"

# 2. "You're HUGE!" (especially when followed by...)

# 1. "How much weight have you gained so far?"

Top Five Fashion Lifesavers

# 5. Bella Bands
# 4. Cheap clothes from Target and Forever 21, bought in ever-increasing sizes
# 3. Anything black and stretchy (and therefore slimming. Right? Right??)
# 2. Shoes with no buckles, laces, or zippers (because the idea of reaching your feet becomes a joke)
# 1. Cynthia and Tara (from whom I inherited a bounty of maternity clothing. Thanks, ladies!)

Top Five Websites

# 5. Epinions.com

# 4. FitPregnancy.com

# 3. ConsumerReports.org

# 2. Peachhead Group for Families in Los Angeles

# 1. Babycenter.com

Top Five Favorite Things About Pregnancy
# 5. Discussing baby names with my husband.
# 4. Watching my husband channel his inner Martha Stewart while decorating the nursery
# 3. Watching my husband try to talk to the baby
# 2. Seeing my belly move around
# 1. Feeling the baby kick

Top Five Least Pleasant Things About Pregnancy
# 5. The first trimester.

# 4. Being gripped with fear every time I sneezed and coughed in the last trimester.

I'm just going to stop there. You don't want to hear the rest. Trust me.

Nesting mode has kicked in 1000% percent. Despite my increasingly more uncomfortable hugeness, I spent a good chunk of this weekend cleaning, cooking, baking, knitting, and running errands. Today alone I hit Target, Ralphs, and Costco, did laundry, organized three closets, mopped the kitchen floor, and baked one red velvet cake. From scratch. Knitting was on hold for the day because even my damn fingers have begun retaining water.

Speaking of knitting, I'm in a race against the clock to complete two baby projects before the big day - a Sheldon (yes, another one) and an entrelac blanket. There they are, above, hanging out at the Friday Knitting Group. Unfortunately, Lisa forgot her knitting that day. Not sure why she looked so darn happy about it, though. To make up for her lack of knitting, Jocelyn taught knitting newbie Patricia the ropes. Or the yarn, as it were. Har dee har har!