The End of an Era

A week ago Tuesday I worked my last day at my old company. Why has it taken me so long to finally mention this in my blog? Well, I spent the last week trying to come up with a post clever, heartfelt, and meaningful enough to do my time there justice, and I've been drawing a blank. Perhaps it's because I know that even though I won't be showing up to work with them anymore, many of the people I've met there will continue to be a part of my life. We'll continue to call each other with our good news and bad, to send each other pictures of our little ones as they grow, to meet for knitting sessions, and to get together to celebrate the big and little milestones in our lives. After all, that's what family does, right?

Thank you all for a great couple of years. I'm really going to miss you.

The Friday Knitting Group Turns TWO!

Can you believe it's been two years already? Wow!

To celebrate, we had another potluck-style lunch and stash swap. My eyes were bigger than my stomach, and I ate way too much. It seems like my stash was bigger than my free time, too, because one of the skeins I brought to swap was one that I'd gotten from Lisa the year before. As I set it out on the swapping table, she quietly said, "Isn't that my old yarn?" I felt like I'd be caught regifting! Well, Gillian took it home this year, and who knows... Maybe that nubby green yarn will make yet another appearance at the three-year anniversary party!

Back to the Grind

After a four-month-long hiatus, I traded in my sweatpants for slacks and went back to work. Did you know that it's possible for a pre-verbal baby to pull a guilt trip on you? As I was leaving, I went to give Benjamin a good-bye kiss. Before I could even get close, a look of such disappointment, disapproval, and despondency crossed his chubby face that I simply turned tail and ran into the elevator to hide from him.

Despite the soul-crushing shunning I received from my son, it was really nice to see my coworkers and friends, especially since they welcomed me back with a hearty breakfast. I started to ravage the spread like a feral pig when I suddenly realized, "I don't have to inhale my food since there's no baby to rush back to!" And an hour later, I realized that yet another benefit of being at work was the freedom to use the loo whenever I wanted to. Wow! No need to ignore my bodily functions until I was on the verge of kidney failure! I started to have hope that being away from Benjamin wouldn't be such a bad thing after all.

That changed at about 9:30 am while I was chatting with coworkers in the file room. Talk turned to the baby, and I excitedly began describing every infinitely fascinating detail of his existence - his adorable cooing, his chubby fists, his delicious baby smell, his-- Suddenly, my chest started to swell like two water balloons at a Fourth of July pool party. I frantically tried to divert my thoughts to other topics - office gossip, Barack Obama, whatever - but the harder I tried to not think about Benjamin, the more I did. I felt like a prepubescent boy trapped in line behind the hottest girl in the seventh grade with no binder to hide his growing-- You get the picture. I ran out of the file room clutching my chest, and made a beeline for my pump. This scenario would play itself out about three more times every day for the rest of the week.

One thing that I really did miss about my working life (aside from my awesome job, fabulous company, and incredible, wonderful, gorgeous boss, of course!!) was the Friday Knitting Group. On Friday, as Lisa and I got our needles out, she told me how her cat had ruined a considerable portion of her stash by peeing all over a container full of yarn. I started to laugh when I realized that there was any number of ways the same thing could happen to me. A disgruntled pug with an eye for revenge. A naked baby mid-diaper change. Or even a sudden attack of Benjamin nostalgia while I'm winding my yarn. Guess I won't be knitting any baby things while I'm away at work!

Benjamin's Blanket of Many Colors

Last week over lunch, my buds Lisa and Yvonne presented me with a most unexpected and delightful surprise: a beautiful baby blanket knit by members of the Friday Knitting Group. All I could do as I unwrapped the gift was intone over and over again, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God..." Valley Girl-esque reaction notwithstanding, this blanket was one of the sweetest gifts Benjamin received and will be one of the most treasured. Thank you, ladies!*

The blanket came in handy a few days later when, unfortunately, Benjamin had to check into the hospital for his second transfusion. The blanket was momentarily stripped away as Benjamin flashed the pediatrician Dr. Lloyd his baby goods and then tried to charm her with a cheeky smile. You naughty baby, you! You'll be happy to hear that Benjamin came through the transfusion with flying colors and managed to win the hearts of every nurse on the pediatric floor in the process.

*And by ladies, I mean Jocelyn, Cynthia, Nancy, Bernadette, Pinella, Jenny, Heidi, Johyne, Melinda, Lisa, and Yvonne!

Pregnancy Top Fives

Now that I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy, I thought I'd take a moment to recap some of its highs and lows. You may remember my promising in the very first post that this blog would contain no bitching or complaining about anything other than knitting or Oliver. I may have to bend the rules a little here, because - as every pregnant woman (and pregnant woman's husband) knows - one of the benefits of being pregnant is having carte blanche to whine without restraint about your pregnancy. So hang on to your britches, 'cause here we go...

Top Five Food Cravings

# 5. Edamame with kosher salt (first trimester)

# 4. Salad (second and third trimesters)
# 3. Clementines, eaten two or three at a time (beginning of third trimester)
# 2. Triscuits with sharp cheddar cheese (third trimester)
# 1. Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal with Vanilla Soy Milk (the whole damn time)

Top Five Size-Related Comments That I Didn't Mind Hearing

# 5. "You're really getting big!" (said while standing in front of me looking at my belly)
# 4. "You look like you're due any day now!"
# 3. "You look like you have a basketball in there!"

# 2. "It's so pointy!"
# 1. "You're beautiful." (said by my husband. We'll forget his previous camel comment. For now.)

Top Five Size-Related Comments That Filled Me with Homicidal Rage

# 5. "You're really getting big!" (said while walking behind me looking at God-knows-what)

# 4. "Your face looks fuller!"

# 3. "Wow, you've gotten bigger... all over!"

# 2. "You're HUGE!" (especially when followed by...)

# 1. "How much weight have you gained so far?"

Top Five Fashion Lifesavers

# 5. Bella Bands
# 4. Cheap clothes from Target and Forever 21, bought in ever-increasing sizes
# 3. Anything black and stretchy (and therefore slimming. Right? Right??)
# 2. Shoes with no buckles, laces, or zippers (because the idea of reaching your feet becomes a joke)
# 1. Cynthia and Tara (from whom I inherited a bounty of maternity clothing. Thanks, ladies!)

Top Five Websites

# 5. Epinions.com

# 4. FitPregnancy.com

# 3. ConsumerReports.org

# 2. Peachhead Group for Families in Los Angeles

# 1. Babycenter.com

Top Five Favorite Things About Pregnancy
# 5. Discussing baby names with my husband.
# 4. Watching my husband channel his inner Martha Stewart while decorating the nursery
# 3. Watching my husband try to talk to the baby
# 2. Seeing my belly move around
# 1. Feeling the baby kick

Top Five Least Pleasant Things About Pregnancy
# 5. The first trimester.

# 4. Being gripped with fear every time I sneezed and coughed in the last trimester.

I'm just going to stop there. You don't want to hear the rest. Trust me.

Nesting mode has kicked in 1000% percent. Despite my increasingly more uncomfortable hugeness, I spent a good chunk of this weekend cleaning, cooking, baking, knitting, and running errands. Today alone I hit Target, Ralphs, and Costco, did laundry, organized three closets, mopped the kitchen floor, and baked one red velvet cake. From scratch. Knitting was on hold for the day because even my damn fingers have begun retaining water.

Speaking of knitting, I'm in a race against the clock to complete two baby projects before the big day - a Sheldon (yes, another one) and an entrelac blanket. There they are, above, hanging out at the Friday Knitting Group. Unfortunately, Lisa forgot her knitting that day. Not sure why she looked so darn happy about it, though. To make up for her lack of knitting, Jocelyn taught knitting newbie Patricia the ropes. Or the yarn, as it were. Har dee har har!

Baby's First Hat

I finished knitting Baby's first article of clothing - a red cap of washable merino wool with two little devil horns on top. My mom friends tell me that no matter how adorable he is, there will be some very trying times during those first few months in which I'll feel like he was sent to torture me. During those times, I'll just tie this hat on him so at least I'll have something cute to look at while I'm beside myself with fatigue and frustration.

Last Friday, I mailed a box of less devilish hats to the Head Huggers Project. Jenny, Cynthia, Jocelyn, Lisa, and I contributed to the cause, so kudos to us!

The Backseat Pug

People seem to think that once the baby comes, our obsession with Oliver will wane. I personally don't see that happening. After all, this blog is called entitled "Ssk, Pugs, & Rock 'n' Roll," not "Ssk, Babies, & Rock 'n' Roll." Still, Vince has teasingly been calling him "The Backseat Pug." I think he does it just to mess with his little head, and it's kind of mean, especially since it seems that all this baby madness is, indeed, starting to get to him. This past weekend we started prepping the baby's room, and Oliver's reaction was one of downright despondency. He spent a few hours trying to get into the spirit of cribs, bassinets, and baby curtains, and then he vanished.

We found him sulking all by himself on the landing of the staircase. It was heartbreaking. He seemed to feel better after I assured him that babies, not pugs, are actually required by law to be situated in the backseat of the car, and he would retain his rightful place in the front passenger seat.

To ensure that my hubby didn't feel like a Backseat Pug, I made a few of his favorite things - zucchini bread to eat for breakfast and my signature pasta dish for dinner. I've heard the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so I expected that by making not one, but two of his favorite things, I'd be set. What I did not expect was that he would eat them together. On the same plate. Hmmm. Maybe next week I'll make turkey rice porridge and blueberry muffins together and see what happens.

In knitting news, our Friday Knitting Group is gearing up to send a box of hats to the Head Huggers Project. The hats - dubbed "chemo caps" - will be distributed to hospitals, cancer centers, and hospices to be worn by people recovering from chemotherapy or other treatments. It's nice to know that a pasttime as enjoyable as knitting can be used for such a good cause. If only other hobbies - such as compulsive shopping and idle gossip - could be as beneficial!

Lisa and Jenny are way too excited about knitting these caps! I mean, have you ever seen such glee in a knitter?

T.T.F.N.!

On Friday, Annie broke the news to us that she would be - SOB! - leaving us for greener pastures, AKA San Diego. Oh, cruel world! We beseeched her to stay, plying her with promises of exciting knitting projects to come, but no matter. Her mind was made up. I'm not sure how Friday Knitting Group will be once Annie is gone. She's leaving some very stylish and funny shoes to fill. We'll miss you, Annie!

In other cruel news, I have, as predicted, left Lady E for a younger, thinner project. I'm sure that I'll be back with her once the new fling bores me with her lack of witty repartee on current events.

Baby Blanket Bingo (& Un Vrai Homme Fait de Tricoter Part Deux)

Team Baby Blanket! Top row, L to R: Lisa, Melinda, Johyne, Pinella, Yvonne, Jenny, Cynthia, and Nancy. Bottom row, L to R: Andrea, Jocelyn, me, Bernadette, Sara, and Heidi.
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As soon our dear friend and coworker Bernadette announced her pregnancy, Yvonne and Lisa birthed (get it? get it?) an idea to create a baby blanket knit by the members of the Friday Knitting Group. The plan called for each of us to knit a square (or two) of a standard size, weight, and gauge. In the end, the squares were pieced together, a quilted cotton backing and satin bows were added, and the gift was presented to Bernadette at her company baby shower. A lovely lady like Bernadette deserves an equally lovely baby blanket for her little girl, and I think the finished product turned out just... well, lovely!


A schmajillion kudos go out to Yvonne and Lisa, master architects of the plan!

In the midst of all the gushing and cooing over our baby blanket, one man excused himself from the frey to begin a project of his own. Below, witness the company's Chief Operating Officer John quietly knitting in the corner. Perhaps seeing our beautiful blanket inspired him to get in touch with his creative and - dare I say - feminine side. Everyone there was duly impressed that our COO knew how to knit, but ever the skeptical one, I said to him, "So you know how to knit, but do you know how to purl??" His reply? "Don't push it."

Perhaps I'll revisit the topic with him after the next round of bonuses.

NOTE: John has now joined the illustrious ranks of other men who have fearlessly knit in public (or at least in front of colleagues). Un vrai homme fait de tricoter!

The Friday Knitting Group Turns ONE!

Friday, we celebrated the One Year Anniversary of the Friday Knitting Group! We marked the special event with a fantastic spread of vegan and non-vegan delicacies, some boisterous yarn-swapping, and - of course - knitting. Here's to another year!

Sunday, we paid a visit to my friend James, his wife Kelly, and their new baby Jayden. Of course, I went bearing (knitted) gifts. As you can see, Jayden and Sheldon got along famously. To be honest, it was a little trippy meeting little Jayden. I've known James since we were about 7 or so, and it doesn't seem like it's been THAT long since the scrappy fights, scraped knees, and name-calling. As I stood gazing at James' beautiful new son, all I could think was, "You made him? THIS adorable creature came from YOU?" Guess I just need to have a little girl for Jayden to pick on in a few years, and the circle will be complete.

Celebrating KIP with Fart Art

When my grand plans to stage a Knitting in Public Day gathering fell through, I realized I would have to make do and KIP in whatever P place I was in. On the day of, we went to the Getty Museum to check out Tim Hawkinson's Zoopsia exhibit, so while there, I busted out my needles and did a little K-ing in P on one of the museum's cush benches. I have to admit that this is the most pathetic display of KIP ever captured on film. I look so forlorn and my lone witness was a very distracted hubby. His distraction? Tim Hawkinson's gargantuan Uberorgan, an installation in the Getty rotunda.
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What in the Sam Hill is an Uberorgan?? As the Getty's website explains, Uberorgan is "a massive construction of balloons and horns," which, once an hour, on the hour, plays a musical score consisting of a "250-foot-long scroll" of "black dots and dashes." So basically, it's a giant organ-bagpipe thing. And you know what? That's exactly what it sounded like. When the scroll started rolling at exactly 2:00 pm, the Getty rotunda was filled with a sound that could only be described as a beached whale with a flatulence problem. I think the reaction shot I got of Vince sums it up better than words ever could.

So I suppose it was a sad day for both the world of knitting and the world of contemporary art. It was unfortunate for knitting that the only witness to my KIP devotion was my hubby. And it was unfortunate for art that he didn't quite appreciate Uberorgan. As we walked away, he pronounced, "That was a fart, not art."

In less unfortunate news, I was finally able to capture on film the visage of the elusive Godfather of Knitting, AKA the Loch Knit Monster, AKA Jenny. Below, you can see her in the flesh, knitting away with Lisa. And to the right, witness the delight on Annie's face as she teaches newcomer Jessica the ropes - or the yarn, as it were.

On the turtle front, Sheldon #6 has reached tadpole stage. Here, he does a little shell-swapping with Sheldon's #4 and #5. Then after getting naked, all three Sheldons stop to ogle the emerging turtle butt of Yvonne's Sheldon. Those dirty, dirty Sheldons!

Filet Pugnon, Medium Rare?

Lisa, demonstrating her helpfulness to Dina and Leonor.

Now that our home is on the market, we've been faced with the problem of what to do with El Puggo when our real estate agent wants to conduct an all-important open house. Thankfully, the lovely and helpful Ms. Lisa agreed to watch him for us if need be. When I excitedly told the Hubby that I'd found Oliver a sitter, instead of jumping for joy, he gave me a very serious, very grave look, and started asking questions. Lisa, eh? Does she have a dog? Has she ever owned a pet? Is her home pug-proof? See, Vince's knowledge of Lisa extends to only a few things... She's a knitter. She's my friend. And - most profoundly puzzling to Vince's steak-loving mind - she's a vegan. After a few more moments of pondering her abilities to care for his precious pug, he finally said, "Well, at least she won't eat him."


In other exciting news, Sheldon #5 is done, and ready to be shipped off to Italy to join my friends Pierluigi, Roberta, and their soon-to-be little 'un. Below, you can see that even though Lisa won't eat Oliver, Sheldon #5 wants to eat her vegan lunch.

Picky Eaters

It was a momentous weekend (drum roll, please)... I convinced Vince to try vegan food! The hubby is a real meat-n-potatoes, sushi, and Panda Express kinda guy, so this was a big, BIG deal. I had to do a fair bit of bargaining to get him to even set foot inside The Vegan Joint, the restaurant where it all went down; in exchange for one vegan lunch, I agreed to let him choose what/where we eat for the next two weekends in a row, PLUS allow him to play Xbox or Playstation for the rest of the day (until 7 pm), PLUS refrain from watching Sex and the City within earshot of him for the rest of the day (again, up until 7 pm). Desperate times call for desperate measures. But as you can see from the pictures below, Vince rather enjoyed the vegan pad thai he ordered. Though he'd never in a million years admit it to me.

The Pug, on the other hand, is not nearly as picky as the Hubby when it comes to what he will eat.

In other momentous news, Lisa's almost done with her second Sheldon!

Below (top left), check out the beatific expression on her face as she happily k's, ssk's, and k2tog's away. And you can see Andrea at work in the background. Also, we got another new member to our Friday Knitting Group, Kim (top right). On the bottom you can see the two resident crazies: Me (with my Lady E) and Ms. Annie.

I desperately tried to take a picture of the elusive Godfather, AKA Jenny, but she refused to let herself be captured on film. If I don't get a snap of her face soon, people are going to think she doesn't exist! Then again, that might only boost her legendary knitting status - she'll become the Loch Ness Monster of knitting!

Lettin' It All Hang Out, Turtle-Style

I've decided that I'm a knittin' ho whose tricks are for sale; I've put Marge up for adoption on Etsy. Apparently, Marge is a ho, too. Above, you can see her takin' it aaaaalll off for online viewers. What's wrong with my children? Anyway, it's come down to this: If I'm going to keep knitting these turtles, pretty soon, our home will be overrun with them, and the hubby don't like that. Below, you can see that Marge has already started nosing around in his business and is examining his recent traffic ticket.

Here, you can see that Lisa's turtle is quickly coming to turtle fruition. Marge offers him some encouragement: "You can do it! You'll get there!"

Lisa's only got her i-cord edging to go, and she's all done. Next time you check this blog, there should be a picture of her completed turtle to show off. No pressure, Lisa. NO PRESSURE!

Sheldon the Strumpet

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'll be giving Sheldon up for adoption to my flower girl Hana. Hana is from Modesto, Cali, where there might not be the same type of good times that can be found here in the City of Angels. So before handing him over, I figured I should show him a good time. Above, you'll see Sheldon get friendly with some of the Friday Knitting Group ladies. Below, you'll see him get really friendly with Annie. Guess gentlemen really DO prefer blondes!

And lest we forget that this is a knitting blog and not a site for "Turtles Gone Wild," check out my Lady E project. Though she's been somewhat neglected in the face of turtle mania, she is getting longer!

Un Vrai Homme Fait de Tricoter

Today's knitting get-together started off just like any other with a few of us gathered in the company lunchroom happily knitting and chatting. Below left is Nancy working away on her scarf. She's knitting so fast the yarn is a blur! On the right is my wool and silk blend Lady E facing off against Lisa's vegan lunch.


The real excitement began when Nancy informed us that two lawyers sitting on the other side of the lunchroom had declined her invitation to join our knitting circle. Never one to turn down a chance to be Ambassador of Knitting, I marched over to stump for my cause with Kishore and Vincent (who is French).

Lily: Tu ne veux pas faire de knitting avec nous? Pourquoi?
Vincent: Je blah blah blah blah homme blah blah blah faire de tricoter blah blah.
Lily: Huh?

Forty seconds of painfully stilted conversation later, I managed to squeeze out this grammatically correct pronouncement: Un vrai homme fait de tricoter! (A real man knits!) Their manhood in question, Vincent and lunch buddy Kishore attempted to prove they were, indeed, vrais hommes. Later in the hour, so did Ed, who claims to come from a rich heritage of Irish knitters.
Were they successful in their quest to prove their vrai homme-ness? I think the pictures speak for themselves.

You'll be happy to know that at least they one of these brave men felt more like a vrai homme. As Vincent walked away, he proclaimed: "I feel more secure in my manhood now."

X/[Days to Wedding] = [Hours Spent Knitting]

Days to the Big Day: 51
Visits to the Container Store and/or Borders in the past week: 4
Cumulative hours spent knitting in the past week: about 14

I have a theory that as the amont of time before the wedding diminishes, my time spent knitting will increase inversely. Maybe it's because knitting relaxes me. Or maybe it's because I enjoy sticking my head in the sand (or in the yarn, as it were). Either way, I have noticed that I have been spending more and more time knitting in the recent months and weeks. To quantify my theory, I employed some extremely advanced math skills: 9th grade algebra.

X/[# days to the wedding] = # of hours spent knitting

Therefore...

X/51 = 14
X = (14)(51)
X = 714

So 714 is my magic number. By this equation, I will knit a total of 16.23 hours next week. That's totally feasible! I'm a genius! Oh, wait... The week before the wedding I will knit 102 hours. HA! That means that either I will be one very, very relaxed bride (with no job and no need for sleep apparently), or my equation needs tweaking. Or maybe this equation is actually for the number of handfuls of hair I'll lose leading up the wedding. Alas. I can kiss that Nobel Prize in Knittology goodbye.

Part of the reason I racked up so many hours knitting this week is because I met with fellow Friday Knitting Group knitters every day at lunchtime. And here we have the perfect segueway into my next topic.


We had a fantastic turnout at our knitting group. It seems that every week we get new people, which is great. The more the merrier, I say! Check out how happy everyone is to be knitting!





Clockwise from top left: Johyne (more addicted to knitting than I am) and Helen (our erstwhile knitter); Annie (the Knitter-Never-Giver-Upper), Jocelyn, and Andrea (brand spankin' new to the world of knitting); Heidi (holding my neglected Lady E project); Yvonne and Lisa (my regular Stitch 'n' Bitch buddies).


As I mentioned above, my Lady E project has been somewhat neglected, but with good reason: I'm trying to churn out yet another dino baby hat for my fiance's friend's wife's baby shower. I started the damn thing on Monday night, but then got distracted while trying to knit, talk, and breathe all at the same time on Tuesday, mistakenly M1 a few times too many, and had to start over. Argh!


As you can (kind of) see, it's almost done. I just have a few more dino spikes to pick up and knit, plus the two I-cord ties. You think I can finish it by tonight? Tune in later and see!

Introducing the Friday Knitting Group

The idea for an office knitting group came about when my co-worker Jenny happened upon me happily knitting in the company lunchroom. She took one look at my size 5 circulars and the bunny rabbit hat emerging from them, and she freaked out. "I KNIT, TOO!! WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER AND KNIT!" The Friday Knitting Group got together for the first time that week. On Friday.

We had a rather paltry turnout at last week's get-together, but I managed to capture a couple of exciting moments nonetheless. Here we have Pauline and Jocelyn working on their projects.



Below we have a shot of Jenny and I proudly displaying our yarn stash. Let me tell you something about Jenny... she is the Grandmaster Flash of knitting. She's one of those knitters to whom you can bring your fingering weight scarf on size 00 needles with dropped stitches running down ten rows (ten PATTERN rows) for first aid, because in mere moments, Jenny will have returned the item to its proper state. Anyway, as you can tell from the picture, Jenny is a little shy. And so am I.

Hopefully, I'll be able to introduce even more of the Friday Knitting Group next week, so stay tuned!

In other news, I've made an eensy, weensy bit of progress on the Lady Eleanor Entrelac Stole. Here it is after about an hour of work (note the nosy Pug lurking the background):

Here's a close-up of the piece. Are the little squares great or what? I love this Noro Silk Garden colorway (#47). It keeps me (of the short attention span) riveted as I furiously knit and knit just to see what the next row will look like. Oooo, it's black! No, wait - now it's brown! Pure knitting joy!