Scuttlebutt

Calliope hasn't yet mastered the skill of crawling forwards. Like her brother, she's figured out how to crawl backwards, but that doesn't really get her where she wants to go. What she can do, however, is use her chubby little legs to move herself around on the hardwood floors while she's sitting on the potty. She'll scoot over to a nearby table or chair, and then use her arms to pull herself to a standing position. She's been motoring around the living room this way for the past 15 minutes. Hopefully, she'll remember to sit back down before she poops!

2010: A Potty-sey

When I first started practicing Elimination Communication with Benjamin two years ago, I got a lot of nay-saying. "Why bother?" "Let 'em go in a diaper as long as possible - it's just easier!" "Sounds like a lot of work." These were some of the comments I frequently heard. One Debbie Downer scoffed, "You only have one baby right now. Let's see you do that with two kids!" I have to admit that her comment did get to me. It made me doubt that I would be able to continue parenting the way I wanted to once I had more than one child. Well, guess what? I've got two kids now, and we're doing it!

.The first time I tried ECing Calliope was right around her six month birthday, and she was less than enthused. With Benjamin, ECing seemed to click right away. I put him on the pot and he went. Every time. With Calliope, she'd just give me a puzzled look with her big doe eyes and do... nothing. So, I put EC on the back burner. But then several weeks ago, Calliope developed an ear infection and had to be put on augmentin. I decided hat it was time to pick up the pottying again. If you're a parent who's ever experienced the pleasure of dealing with the gastrointestinal aftermath of a child whose been on augmentin, you can understand why.

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For whatevever reason, EC clicked with Calliope this time! She didn't squirm or fuss when I put her on the potty, and it took only a few dry runs for her to understand what she was supposed to do once she was sitting there. Of course, it helped that the augmentin had liquefied her insides and needed a place to go. Sorry, TMI? Looks like Benjamin thinks that there's TMS: Too Much Smell.
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So, after going through the EC process of with one and now starting with a second, I can say unequivocally that I'm glad we're doing it. Did it help get Benjamin into underwear more quickly? Yes. Do we still have accidents? Yes. But that's a part of the process. Potty training has been more of a gradual learning curve for us than the sudden shift it is for most kids, and having the occasional "oops!" is to be expected. I will, however, say that almost all of his accidents are pees and not the other stuff, and I credit EC 100% with that. In fact, most of the Boo's poos have gone into the pot since he was a year old, and in the few weeks that I've been doing this with Calliope, I've only had change about four dirty diapers. Big ups for that, because I'd much rather clean poop off of this:

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Than this:
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Next step in the Potty-sey: teaching Benjamin how to get dressed correctly.

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Benjamin's Outhouse

I recently ordered a new baby bathtub for our unborn daughter. When it arrived, it was packaged in a ginormous cardboard box. Never one to let anything go to waste, I turned it over to Benjamin to play with. I figured that a box that size would make a fine fort, truck, or cave for the Boo. The Boo, however, had different designs for his new toy.
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I watched in amusement as he removed the paper packing material from inside the box, stood the box on its end, and placed his little yellow potty inside. He then went to his potty, pulled his underpants down, and proceeded to, um... christen his new outhouse.
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Business finished, he stood up, pulled his pants back up, and went back to his playroom to continue about his afternoon. Thankfully, the deposit he had left in his potty was not of the variety that required a roll of TP and a brisk wiping!

Potty Training à Deux?

Until about two weeks ago, my pregnancy had been fairly unremarkable. I had the usual complaints - queasiness, fatigue, inexplicable cravings, and hormone-induced bitchiness - but for the most part, I was able to go about my day without feeling pregnant. In fact, I'd sometimes forget that I was pregnant and be reminded only when I knocked over something with my belly.

That's all changed. In the past weeks, I feel as though my midsection has grown enough to accomodate not just my baby, but her car seat and crib, too. My skin is stretched so tight that I can play it like a tympani. And I swear she's sitting much lower than Benjamin did. She's so low that she's using my bladder as a neckrest, and sneezing in public has become a heart-stopping experience. If things continue, I may have to borrow some diapers from Benjamin.

Speaking of diapers, Benjamin is well on his way to saying adios to them (fingers crossed). It's not unusual for him to stay dry for four- or five-hour periods of time, coming to tell me when he wants to use the potty, or even just going on his own. According to conventional potty training wisdom, this means that he's ready for (drum roll)... BIG BOY PANTS! But even though the books say that he may be ready to make the transition, I don't know if I am, so we're meeting halfway and using cotton training underpants.

Taking a cue from a fellow Emerson mom, I decked out Benjamin's training pants with one of his favorite characters, Elmo. Since I couldn't find Elmo underpants that fit him, I created my own by making a sheet of Elmo decals with Photoshop, and printing them onto iron-on tranfer paper. A few quick swipes of a hot iron, and - VOILA! - custom-made Elmo training pants! When I put the pants on Benjamin, I'll tell him, "Don't pee on Elmo! He wouldn't like that!" The idea is that Benjamin's fear of soiling his beloved Elmo will heighten his awareness of his need to go. I have yet to try it out, but I'm hopeful.

Maybe I should make myself some Elmo underpants. :(

Diaper Distress

Benjamin hit a potty milestone this week: without prompting from me, he stopped playing, took his diaper off, sat on his potty, and peed - in that order. See, sometimes he'll sit on the potty and pee, but forget to take his diaper off. Sometimes he manages to get his diaper off, but then gets distracted and continues playing, and winds up peeing on the floor - or worse. So this is a major potty coup! Of course, it's only happened one other time since, but such is the rollercoaster that accompanies all toddler milestones. The fact that he was even able to remember to take his diaper off before going potty is enough for me.
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Now, if only he could figure out how to get the diaper back on.
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Potty Time + Newfound Ability to Somersault + Toddler Attention Span Equals...

...Hysterical, Side-Splitting, Tear-Inducing Laughter + A Big Ol' Mess to Clean Up.
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It's hard to say which was bigger: the mess created by Benjamin's failed attempt to somersault off of his potty or the comic relief it created. Probably the latter!

The Boy Who Cried "Poop"

It's been about a year since we began practicing Elimination Communication, and what an interesting journey it's been. There have been ups and downs, but at the end of the day, it's all about the COMMUNICATION and not the-- Yeah, yeah, you get it. And as far as the communication is concerned, he's getting pretty good about letting me know when he needs to go. Sometimes, he uses hand signs to alert me. Sometimes, he uses sounds. Sometimes, he uses telepathy. And sometimes, he does this:
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The boy strips. Strips! And guess what? It works! Benjamin knows that the moment Mommy hears the telltale sound of Velcro being pried apart, she'll come a-running to whisk him off to the potty. Once he's on the potty, Benjamin will usually proceed to do his business with no further incident; however, he's realized that even if he doesn't really need to go, ripping off his pants will result in facetime with Mommy. So what has he started to do? You guessed it: the boy now takes his pants off to get my attention. It feels like I'm back in college.
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Now that I've grown wise to his devious ways, I'm suspicious each time he tries to get my attention. Don't get me wrong: when I hear him dropping trou, I'll still check to make sure that he doesn't really need to use the toilet. But if I've experienced several false alarms in a row, THEN I'll ignore him. Unfortunately, three false alarms doesn't always mean that the fourth will be one, too.

Yes, that is a pants-less Boo staring sheepishly at the wall on which he just urinated. As you can probably guess, this accident was preceded by three false alarms, all of which summoned me to his side. So when he finally sincerely tried to tell me that he needed to use the toilet, I ignored him. Hence the pee-stained wall.
And it gets worse.

That's poop. In the closet. The poo has been pixelated for your own protection. The other thing you can't see in this picture is that the closet is right next to the restroom that Benjamin most frequently uses. Truth be told, I did hear him banging on the restroom door right before I discovered the dookie. But in my defense, this was after the aforementioned three false alarms. So what's an exhausted, frustrated Mommy to do? Ignore her child. And what's the child to do? Find the next closest place in which to drop a deuce.


When I told Vince what had happened, his reply (after howling with laughter) was, "Did you rub his nose in it and tell him, 'No"?" I told him that I did no such thing because (a) Benjamin is not a dog, and (b) he seemed to feel pretty bad about it on his own. I mean, doesn't he look pretty sad and ashamed?

NAH!

Trainspottying or Isn't It Bromantic 3

Tiny veteran of pokes, prods, exams, and sticks, Benjamin has shown us that he one tough little dude. Even so, I think that this last weekend may have proved to be one of his worst ever. Our troubles began on Saturday morning when he awoke looking paler than usual. By mid-morning, he had a high fever, was breathing shallowly, and had become very sluggish. Over the next 36 hours, he had the pleasure of visiting his pediatrician's office and two different hospitals where he ran the medical gauntlet. He endured having his temperature taken twice (down there), went though multiple blood draws, he got antibiotic shots in both legs, and had a catheter inserted. If that wasn't enough, he went through two hours worth of failed attempts to insert an IV line. Ouch! The good news is that one nurse was finally able to get one started, and so began our weekend stay at the Resort de Mattel Children's Hospital.

It's never fun staying in the hospital, but we do try to see the bright side of things. For one thing, we're lucky that we have access to such amazing medical resources and such caring, wonderful medical staff. The kindness and caring of the doctors and nurses we meet never fails to touch us. For another thing, our hospital stays only last a few days at a time. We've met kids who have racked up a far greater number of medical frequent flyer miles than we have, and our hearts go out to them and their families. Those guys are the real troopers.

Ironically, as trying as this medical stuff is for us, it gives us a chance to learn more about ourselves, both individually and as a family. This particular hospital stay opened my eyes, and I discovered quite a bit.

DISCOVERY #1 - MOMMY HAS HER LIMITS.
I have a pretty high tolerance for the unpleasant stuff Benjamin has to go through. Yes, it hurts me to see him crying and in pain, but what can you do? One time, I actually found myself in the odd position of having to comfort a nurse who was was so upset by the amount of pain Benjamin was in that she was crying. This time, however, I realized that there is only so much I can take. While we were waiting in the ER, something in me just snapped, and I started crying. Usually, I would have choked back the tears, but this time, I just let them flow, along with with about a gallon of snot. Sorry... Too much information?

DISCOVERY #2 - DADDY IS A CHAMP.
After my meltdown in the ER, Vince took charge. He comforted Benjamin, and when he wasn't comforting Benjamin, he was comforting me. That first night, Vince was the one who stayed behind in the hospital so I could go home and get some rest. When I returned the next morning, he looked exhausted, but he still had his arms wrapped tenderly around the Boo and a smile still on his face. I asked him if he wanted to go home, but he continued to stick around for the rest of the day. I think that if he wasn't in such dire need of a shower, he would have stayed another night.

DISCOVERY #3 - BENJAMIN'S A BIG BOY NOW.
Whenever we stay in the hospital, our routines are put on hold. Benjamin's naps may not happen at the right times (if at all), we won't be able to go on long walks, and pottying goes on the back burner. Just as I expected, naps and walks went out the window this weekend, but Benjamin was the one who decided that he didn't want to give up the potty. Not to get into disgusting details, but he didn't go bong bong (Chinese for Numero Two) all day on Saturday. When I returned on Sunday morning, I thought that he would have gone for sure, but he hadn't. As soon as Benjamin saw me, he began making grunting noises along with what we call his "poo face." I put him on his travel potty, and to my surprise, he almost immediately went bong bong. He continued to go bong bong with alarming frequency throughout the rest of the day. I guess he'd been storing it up.

DISCOVERY #4 - YOU'RE NEVER TOO YOUNG FOR A BROMANCE.
On Sunday morning on the way back to the hospital, I stopped by Shawn and Julie's to give them a copy of our house key. As soon as their front door opened, Nolan came barreling out. He gave me one of his big, toothy grins, but as soon as he saw that I had come alone, his grin vanished. He circled my car twice, looking for Benjamin, and when he didn't find him, he tried to open the doors. His little hands couldn't quite do it, so he grabbed one of mine and placed it on a door handle. He seemed very upset when I opened it, and there was no Benjamin sitting inside. Julie had to pick him up and explain to him that Benjamin wasn't coming. I knew that Benjamin and Nolan were buds, but this was the first time I realized that they actually could miss one another. I mean, this was behavior that I'd expect to see in their fathers after more than two consecutive evenings without Xbox Live.

Luckily, Nolan and Benjamin's baby bromance only had to wait until Monday. When they were reunited, they immediately broke into chubby smiles and began laughing and babbling excitedly. Who knows what they were saying to one another? Hopefully it didn't have anything to do with meat shields.

Family is the Best Medicine

Each night before bedtime, Benjamin gets a bath. If Vince gets home in time, he helps me to undress Benjamin and take him to pee before we put him in the tub, but often Benjamin is so excited to see Daddy that he doesn't want to pee and wants to play instead. When this happens, we try to distract him long enough to do his business. We do this by giving him something to hold in his hands. I usually give Benjamin a plastic clothes hanger to play with because it's waterproof, it's babysafe, and it's too large to fit into the space between his legs and the potty. Last night, Vince decided to give Benjamin his iPhone. You can see where this is going, right? Benjamin promptly dropped the iPhone into his potty- and then peed on it. I swear I'm not making this up. I managed to get some pictures of Benjamin trying to grab the iPhone back from Vince after he rescued it from its watery grave, but I didn't get any pictures of the dripping phone itself because I was too busy rolling on the ground in laughter.

Vince didn't find the whole mess nearly as amusing as I did, but he wasn't angry for long. After all, how can you stay mad at this little face?

Super Soaker

Six months into our Potty-sey, we've reached a turning point: Benjamin can now be diaper-free for small chunks of the day. Let me rephrase: he can be diaper-free as long as he's had his morning poo and pee; he's not suffering from any sort of intestinal distress (such as the kind that Augmentin inflicts on babies - moms, you know what I'm talking about); and I make myself available to him in the event that he does need to go and wants to cue me. I don't have be Helicopter Mom and hover over him, but I do have to be at least somewhat aware of what he's doing. If I'm not, then the whole thing goes to sh*t. Literally.

During those diaper-free times, I put training pants on Benjamin. Training pants have several benefits over diapers when it comes to EC. For one thing, they're much easier to whip off and on when he has to go. Also, I can see immediately if Benjamin does have a miss, which helps me to get a better understanding of his patterns and signals. Finally, the unpleasant sensation Benjamin gets from wearing wet pants gives him an incentive to cue me when he needs to go. Unfortunately, finding training pants that fit is next to impossible. The smallest size available in stores is 2T, which is way to big for the Boo. In fact, he's actually crawled right out of his underpants because they're too saggy. The solution? Custom-knit wool soakers!

A fellow mom in the Diaper Free Baby Yahoo Group directed me to a free pattern for wool soakers. Pattern in hand, I consulted my rather sizeable stash, and found two wool options: Noro Silk Garden left over from my Lady E project and Cascade Wool 220 left over from a bag I knit a few years back. I settled on using the Cascade Wool 220. As beautiful as that gorgeous Noro colorway would look on Benjamin's little bottom, I just couldn't stomach the idea of using a $14/skein yarn for something that would probably be crapped on.

In my pre-Boo life, I would've been able to knock out about three of these soakers by now, but at this point, all I have to show for my efforts is this:

That's eventually going to be the butt part of the soaker. Cute, huh? I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to felt it or not. I think that felting it would probably make for a better soaker, but it would also shrink it. So I guess it depends on whether or not I finish this project anytime in the next year.

One very notable thing about this project is the fact that I knitted a gauge swatch for it. SAY WHAT? Gauge swatches are anathema to most knitters, especially impatient knitters with such as myself. I'd rather just rush into the project sans swatch and risk having to redo the whole thing if it doesn't fit. Perhaps this is why I enjoy knitting toys so much - one size fits all! My gauge swatch was only ten stitches wide and one inch long, but it was a swatch nonetheless - my first swatch, I'm ashamed to say. I guess that motherhood has taught me a bit about patience.

A Potty-sey: Part 3

When people find out we're practicing Elimination Communication, or EC, the questions inevitably follow. "Is it the same as potty training?" "Does he tell you when he needs to go?" "Isn't it a lot of work?" "Is he still wearing diapers?" These are all common questions, the answers to which are "no," "kind of," "not really," and "most of the time." As I've mentioned before, EC isn't really potty training, but it does increase awareness of pottying in the baby. Not only does Benjamin know what the potty is for, but he's now able to communicate with me many times when he needs to use it by either crawling towards it, patting it, or making an approximation of the hand signal for "potty." Also, timing plays a big role in ECing; I always potty Benjamin after naps and upon waking in the morning. Contrary to what you might think, EC is not a lot more work if you do it only as frequently as your schedule will allow. For example, I would be considered a "part time EC-er," because even though I try to catch more of B's shalalas and polliwogs in the toilet or potty (see this post if you have no idea what in the Sam Hill I'm talking about), there are times when it's easier for me to just leave him in a diaper and not worry about it, such as when we're out running errands. Also, when he's sick or having a hard time with teething, I tend to put ECing on the back burner. That being said, there are times when it's "safe" for me to put B in training pants or a cloth diaper because I know that he's finishing shalalala-ing for a while. You follow?

The easiest way for me to show you how it works would be to, well, show you. I took this video of me and B practicing EC after he awoke from his morning nap.



As you can see, it does take a bit more effort and a lot more patience than simply changing a diaper. Still, I'd argue that wiping out a plastic potty is a heckuva lot easier than trying to clean a squirming, twisting, messy baby, and it's even easier the times B uses his Baby Bjorn toilet seat on the grown-up potty. The chances of having shalalalas inadvertently flung in my face are much slimmer, too!

All I Want For Christmas Is Some Red Blood Cells

As I've mentioned before, Benjamin was born with a blood cell disorder. Although it has necessitated a stay in the NICU, more doctor visits and procedures than he cares to remember, and blood transfusions, we are very grateful that his is a fairly low-maintenance disorder to have. As long as Benjamin stays healthy, we have little to worry about. When he does fall ill, however, he is in danger of becoming dangerously anemic. Unfortunately, our little guy picked up a bug several weeks ago that he was unable to kick, and thus began the medical merry-go-round. Blood tests and x-rays and hospitals, oh my!

Several days of testing revealed that Boo would be needing a transfusion. Luckily, we have the best pediatrician in the world. When I was still a swollen, hormonal pregnant woman, I interviewed ("ruthlessly interrogated" is more like it) several pediatricians, and Dr. Sharon Kaminker was the only one who passed muster. As we got to know mommies and babies in the area, we found that Dr. K had fans in many places. The last time I saw her, I joked that we were going to start The Cult of Sharon Kaminker, which made her laugh. Somewhat uneasily, I think. Anyway, we checked into the peds ward of Santa Monica-UCLA Hospital where the wonderful nurses got him set up and Dr. K also came to check on him.

In between the various tests and procedures, Benjamin carried on with business as usual. He ate crackers and watched talk shows, yelling at the asinine comments people made.

He took naps against a soundtrack of beeping and whirring machines.

He tore up a menu after he was told that his favorite meal of string cheese, yogurt, and pork sausage wasn't on it.

He hung out in the children's playroom where he fiddled with toys, drew on a pad of paper (and on himself), and read a book.

He kicked back with Daddy, made Mommy smile, and sang songs with his future mother-in-law, Catherine.

And yes, he did business as usual in his potty. A funny sidenote: The pottying has actually come in quite handy this week. When a lab tech told me that she'd have to "bag" Benjamin to collect a urine sample, I told her that that wouldn't be necessary, because I could simply ask him to pee into a cup like all the other patients. The look of shock on her face when I procured the sample was priceless. Also priceless was Catherine's reaction when Benjamin decided to entertain her by very enthusiastically going Numero Dos in his potty while she was visiting.

After a fitful night, an endless day, and prayers from family and friends, Benjamin's blood counts went up, his fever stayed down, and we were discharged. It happened not a moment too soon: in the words of Jack Bauer, this was the longest day of our lives.

A Potty-sey: Part 2

There have been some interesting developments in Benjamin's Potty-sey these past few weeks. Some of these developments are fantastic: he's started scooting towards and reaching for his potty when he needs to use it. Some developements are less wonderful: because he's not yet able to pull himself onto the potty, he's nose-dived into it on a few occasions. Then there's the development which is just downright puzzling. It seems that Benjamin has developed something of a stool attraction. No, no, no, it's not what it sounds like. You see, when he's sitting on his potty, he likes to have a barstool to hang on to. I'm not exactly sure why this is so. Perhaps he needs it for balance or for leverage. Or maybe it's there for inspiration. It is, after all, a stool.

Boowarmers - The New "It" Thing

That's what I'm telling Benjamin to say to anyone who looks at him funny on our next playdate. And I'm hoping that he'll be able to do so with a more enthused facial expression than the ones he has here:

Hmmm... perhaps Boowarmers are an acquired taste.

In case you'd like your little one to acquire a taste for Boowarmers, I've included the pattern I created for the ones you see on Benjamin. NOTE: I *strongly* recommend knitting a stockinette test swatch first. Feel free to massage the pattern however you like to achieve desired size and style.

BENJAMIN'S B*TCHIN' BOOWARMERS

Finished size: Boo-sized. Yarn: Vanna's Choice Lion Brand Yarn (100% Acrylic; 156m/100g): 1 ball each of #134 Terracotta and #173 Dusty Green. Needles: Size 5 dpns (or size needed to achieve gauge - again, KNIT A TEST SWATCH)

With MC (Terracotta), CO 40 sts. Divide equally-ish onto 3 sz 5 dpns and carefully join rnd.

Rows 1 to 5 - k2p2 to end of rnd. Rows 6 to 12 - k Rows 13 and 14 - Join CC (Dusty Green) and k. Rows 15 to 16 - k with MC. Rows 17 to 18 - k with CC. Rows 19 to 20 -k with MC. Rows 21 to 24 - k with CC. Rows 25 to 26 - k with MC. Rows 27 to 34 - k with CC. At end of Row 34, leave a tail long enough to weave in, and cut yarn. Rows 35 to 37 - k with MC. Row 38 - k2tog, k18, k2tog, k18 - 38 sts. Rows 39 to 40 - k. Row 41 - k2tog, k17, k2tog, k17 - 36 sts. Rows 42 and 43 - k. Row 44 - k2tog, k16, k2tog, k16 - 34 sts. Rows 45 to 47 - k. Row 48 - k2tog, k15, k2tog, k15 - 32 sts. Rows 49 to 51 - k. Row 52 - k2tog, k14, k2tog, k14 - 30 sts. Rows 53 to 58 - k. Row 59 - k2tog, k13, k2tog, k13 - 28 sts. Rows 60 to 65 - k. Row 66 - k2tog, k12, k2tog, k12 - 26 sts. Rows 67 to 72 - k. Row 73 - k2tog, k11, k2tog, k11 - 24 sts. Rows 74 to 78 - k. Rows 79 to 83 - K2P2 to end of rnd.

BO in patt and weave in ends.

2008: A Potty-sey

I first heard about Elimination Communication when I was in my second trimester of pregnancy. Also known as infant pottying, EC somehow came up in conversation over dinner with friends. One of them had a brother who'd practiced EC with his two sons. He began when they were newborns, and both kids were diaper-free by their first birthdays. In a nutshell, EC is the process by which a parent uses timing, cues, and intuition to know when his or her infant needs to use the toilet. The goal is not to potty train the child per se, but to expand communication and respond to one of your child's basic needs by increasing bodily awareness. Sounds crazy, huh? If not crazy, it certainly seems like a whole heckuva lot of extra work, right? That's what I thought, too.

Fast forward one year later. I had noticed that Benjamin was making it increasingly clearer through his facial expressions and vocalizations whenever he needed to, um... use the facilities. Vince joked that we should just dangle him over the loo and save a diaper, and that's when it hit me - I was seeing Benjamin's EC cues! So even though in the world of EC, Benjamin would be considered to be late starter, I decided to give it a try. I purchased a Baby Bjorn potty and a copy of The Diaper-Free Baby (by Christine Gross-Loh), and got to work. To ensure that I don't gross you out, I'm going to employ the use of some euphemisms. We'll refer to pee as "polliwogs" and the other stuff as "shalalalas."

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Various potties in our EC Arsenal. Would you believe that there's a tiny collapsable potty in that little blue bag? What will they think of next??

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To our surprise, Benjamin took to EC really quickly. By the second day of our Potty-sey, he'd gotten about five polliwogs in his Baby Bjorn potty as well as all of his shalalalas. To be sure, we've had a few "off" days in which it seems I'm reading his cues just moments too late, or when I'm not positioning him quite right on the potty and getting sprayed with polliwogs. Also, practicing EC is definitely more work than just slapping a diaper on Benjamin and calling it a day. But the joy of being able to communicate with and respond to my little baby on a new level makes it all worth it. Not having to scrub shalalalas out of his clothes after a blow-out diaper is nice, too.