Benjamin's World

One of the best parts of being a new mom is seeing the world as a baby sees it. Ordinary, everyday objects are transformed into exciting new things. In Benjamin's world, a wooden table becomes a playground on which he can hang out with buds Lucy and Presley. And if you ask Lucy, an everyday picnic blanket is no longer a boring old bed linen; it's actually a beach in Ibiza.
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At our class on Friday, squashy playroom toys become a fortress and a tunnel for my wee one, and a mundane file box becomes his podium.

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But my favorite part of Benjamin's world is seeing the transformation of something - rather someone - who has been in my own world for a while. In Benjamin's world, Vince is no longer husband and leaver-of-dirty-socks-on-the-floor. He is transformed into a big friendly monster, a protector, and a partner-in-crime.

It's an amazing transformation to watch, and I can't help but smile when I see it happen. I might, however, smile more if he would take that transformation to the next level and become a big friendly tile-scrubbing monster or partner-in-laundry. Then again, I guess that means that I would have to become a partner-in-plant-watering or a protector-of-counter-space-from-unread-fashion-magazines. Yes, I suppose no one's perfect. And to be honest, I'm happy with our imperfect world, because to Benjamin, everything in it - including his Mommy and Daddy - is perfectly fine the way it is.

Endless Summer

The days have been getting shorter and the temperature a little chillier (which for us spoiled Angelenos is anything below 70 degrees), so we've been busy trying to squeeze every last ounce of fun out of Benjamin's first summer.

Last weekend, we attended the last of the free summer concerts in our neighborhood park with our buds Deb and George. As Deb and I sang along to every song the band played (Come on... What normal person doesn't sing along to Earth, Wind, and Fire?), George and Vince did their best to pretend like they didn't know us.

Benjamin watched from the sidelines at an outing to play beach volleyball. I didn't want to make Vince look bad in front of his son, so I decided to sit the games out and join Benjamin in the jeering- I mean, cheering.

We kicked it with friends of the pint-sized variety, too. Last Thursday was a double-whammy: Benjamin hung out with neighbor Nolan in the morning and then met up with ladies Lucy and Presley in the afternoon.

Not wanting the Daddies to be left out of the summer fun, we got together for a family day in the park on a recent Sunday. In the pic above, we see Benjamin holding hands with Bella; neighbors Julie, Shawn, and Nolan; Lucas having fun with Henry; Kylie munching on a chip; Pilar and Elijah watching brother Henry run around; and Vince and Benjamin saying "hi" to Jennifer and baby Hailey. Our neighbors Holly, Rusty, and baby Isabelle were there, too, but they left before I got it together enough to pull my camera out.

As I write this post, two things occur to me: #1. It looks like Benjamin has only two shirts in his wardrobe, and #2. Benjamin seems to have a lot of lady friends. In regards to #1, let me say that Benjamin has far more than just two shirts. It's just that these two are his Daddy's current favorites, so he's trying to get as much mileage out of them as possible. And when you're doing laundry every single day, one of those shirts is always clean. In regards to #2... Well, what can I say? Benjamin is The Man!

He's a Lover, Not a Fighter

Benjamin gets a hand from Liam.

Maybe it's because of the sunny weather. Maybe it's because he's a precocious little bugger who already understands irony and is acting in direct opposition to the frightful image his mohawk presents. Maybe it's because his mom is so winsome and non-combative herself. Ok, probably not that last one. Whatever the reason, Benjamin has developed into one of the happiest, most sweet-natured creatures I've ever known. Everything gives him reason to smile. Oliver's curly tail, Daddy's goofy faces, tree branches stark against the blue sky, even his own bowel movements bring out a giggle or a grin.

His cheeriness extends to interactions with others, too. During their last playdate, Benjamin's best gal Lucy reached over to inspect his pacifier. She pulled on the pacifier, Benjamin went with it and toppled over. His face scrunched up in protest for a brief moment, and then he was completely fine. Whoa! Had I just fallen on my face I would have pouted for far longer, held a grudge, or both. Instead, Benjamin just kind of shrugged it off and let it go.

A few days later, Benjamin and I went to our first class in the new parent education course we were taking. I found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed by the din and chaos created by the dozens of parents and babies present. Benjamin, however, took it all in stride. He sat back for a moment before diving right into the melee. When classmate Avery crawled over to check out his mohawk, Benjamin said, "No prob, bro. Give the mo' a feelsky." So Avery palmed his head for a second, and the boys went back to playing. Here I was obsessing over whether or not I was looking like fun playdate material or a haggard housewife to these new people, and Benjamin was already out there making connections. Literally.

I suppose I could learn a thing or two from my tiny son. At the tender age of six-and-a-half months, he is able to do things that I no longer can - or have forgotten how to - do. Benjamin goes with the flow, he doesn't take himself too seriously, and he doesn't let his panties get into a bundle over little things. Maybe it's because he's not actually wearing panties yet, but that's all the more reason why I should be able to do the same.

Courvoisier II

We established in a previous post that Benjamin is becoming quite a ladies' man. Being a lady myself (and yes, I just typed that with a straight face), I've learned there is a difference between a ladies' man and a straight-up gigolo. That difference starts with the hands, or more specifically, where the hands are. If you're a ladies' man, the hands won't be on the ladies, and this is why I fear that Benjamin may be on the fast train to Gigoloville.

The first sign of trouble appeared at a recent playdate. After months of gentlemanly behavior, Benjamin made a pass at his longtime love Lucy. As I extricated his fingers from her hair, I berated myself for allowing him to watch all that trash TV with me. But then I thought, "Benjamin and Lucy are best buds," and I wrote off his grabby hands as a function of their familiarity.

What happened a week later in Atlanta at my brother's wedding disproved that theory. In keeping with Chinese tradition, I had placed Benjamin on the bridal bed next to baby Chloe, whom he met just moments before. Suddenly, Benjamin was grabbing at Chloe! Apparently it didn't matter how well he knew the girl - his hands had a life of their own. Then again, they were on a bed. I couldn't blame him, so instead, I blamed his circumstances.

Then came his third incident of bad boy behavior, which really threw me for a loop. This time, we were visiting Sydney, the new daughter of friends Kelly and Mike. Benjamin and Sydney were virtual strangers, and they were on the floor - not on a bed - so I figured there would be no hanky-panky. WRONG! I caught Benjamin trying to grab Sydney's hair.

What was going on? I showered this child with love and attention, I tried not to be overindulgent, and I got drunk only twice a week so as not to pollute my milk. What had I done to create this Casanova? As I drowned my sorrows in a cup of decaf, I glanced up to see this scene unfolding before me:

So it seemed that I'd been misreading Benjamin's intentions all along. He wasn't trying to be frisky - just friendly. And I guess that means that the cynic inside me needs to take a backseat and let the mom in me do the driving.

Bizarre Love Rectangle

The Moms: Nicci and Gabriel; Tracy and Ava; Catherine and Lucy; Me and Benjamin; and Michal and Liam. The Dads: Michael and Ava; Matt and Lucy; Mateo and Gabriel; Vince and Benjamin; and Jeramie and Liam.
If there is one thing your typical man enjoys even more than a double date, it must be a pentuple date - with babies. What better way to spend a lazy Sunday than with a flock of chatty wives and a bunch of drooling, pooping babies? Being the loving women that we are, the Anti-Cult-of-Mommy dragged our spouses and babies out last weekend for a pentuple dates in the park. The sun was out, the breeze was cool, and the air was ripe... for love!! Yes, the Bizarre Love Triangle among Buff Benjamin, La-La-Lucy, and Gallant Gabriel raged on, but with a twist, for there was a new player in the mix: Lionhearted Liam.

It just happened that Lucy and Benjamin were the first lovebirds to arrive at the picnic. As Lucy was complimenting Benjamin on his choice of footwear, Gabriel arrived. He took one look at his rival suitor and said (through mom Nicci), "This little pre-date is SO not cool." He then proceeded to sit down and flash his bib, which brazenly proclaimed, "Chicks Dig Me."

Next, Ava and Liam arrived, and not a moment too soon. Perhaps the addition of uninvolved parties would diffuse the mounting tension. But, alas, it wasn't to be, for dark horse Liam decided to strike. Using his more developed upper body strength, he half-crawled his way over to Benjamin and staked his claim in the unfolding love drama. "No fair," cried out Benjamin. "You have two months on me! I can't even sit up to defend myself yet!" Mom Michal had to extricate Liam before things got ugly.

We all breathed a sigh of relief that the drama was over and decided to pose for the obligatory group pictures. It was at that moment that Liam made one last desperate play, a play so shocking that no saw it coming. I think he's taken this May-December romance thing to a whole new level:

Bizarre Love Triangle

As you may recall from a previous post, Benjamin began a whirlwind romance with older woman Lucy at the tender age of four weeks. Their puppy love blossomed unhindered until the untimely appearance of a rival suitor - Gabriel. At nearly six months of age, Gabriel has proven to be a formidable opponent. But if there is one thing that Benjamin has learned from the hours of E! Entertainment television he has watched with his mother, it's that May-December romances are all the rage right now (HELLO - Ashton and Demi, anyone??), so he's not about to go down without a fight.

On Saturday, he invited Gabriel to meet him at Santa Monica Beach for a mano-a-mano talk. Unfortunately, they didn't get very far before things got ugly.


Gabriel: You see these keys, Benjamin? They are the keys to Lucy's heart. Accept that your time with her is over!

Benjamin: Nice try, Gabriel, but I saw Lucy first. If you have any honor, you'll respect that. Back off!

Gabriel: I see that talking is getting us nowhere. Well, we may be on your turf, but I have superior hand-grasping skills, so watch as I steal your socks!!

It only distentegrated from there.

When we got home that afternoon, I was prepared to give Benjamin a pep talk. You know... Assure him that soon, he'd have the same ability to sit up unassisted that Lucy might be attracted to in Gabriel. As I was about to start my speech, though, something fell out of Benjamin's diaper bag.

Gabriel's sock! Benjamin claimed that he had no idea how it had found it's way into his belongings, but I have my suspicions. Perhaps I'd underestimated his cunning all along!

The Anti-Cult-of-Mommy

The coolest kids in the park, counter-clockwise from top left: Lucy (Catherine's daughter), Presley (Brooke's daughter), my Benjamin, Liam (Michal's son), and Gabriel (Nicci's son).

As I've mentioned before, one of the perks of joining Gymboree has been meeting other moms. Other moms who are not members of the dreaded clique I'll call the "Cult of Mommy." You may be asking yourselves, "What is the Cult of Mommy?" It's hard to say definitively what it is, but giving you examples of typical Cult of Mommy comments should paint a fairly clear picture.

• "Don't you know that feeding your baby store-bought baby food instead of organic vegetables you puree yourself causes permanent brain damage?"
• "You mean you don't worship at the Altar of Harvey Karp?"
• "Your baby drinks FORMULA?? Why don't you just go ahead and give her crack?"

(Each of these comments is usually accompanied by raised eyebrows and clucks of disapproval.)

Well, a few of us Gymboree moms decided to form a mommy clique of our own. The difference is that our clique doesn't believe you're a bad mommy if you let your baby watch trash TV with you or if you wean him before he starts kindergarten. In our mommy clique, it's ok to admit that you miss your old life sometimes and crave the company of other new moms. Of course, we also love watching our little ones hang out together, which at this age entails plopping them on the same picnic blanket and letting them slobber all over themselves.

At our latest playdate, a certain little one exhibited some remarkably forward-thinking behavior. Lucy decided to make her intentions known to Benjamin. I, for one, was very impressed, because many-a woman much older than she still hasn't figured out that it's ok for the girl to make the first move. Go, Lucy!

"They Don't Come With A Mute Button, Do They?"

...said my husband. That's gotta be the quote of the day.

To be fair, Benjamin has had a trying week, and it's only Wednesday. Yesterday, he had his blood drawn, which is never fun. Then today, he had his two-month checkup, which included vaccinations - five separate shots in his arms and thighs and one shot of liquid down his screaming, bawling gullet. At least the nurse was nice enough to plaster his boo-boos with racecar-themed bandages. Don't let that coy smile in the above picture fool you, though. Not one hour after I snapped that photo did Benjamin have a meltdown to end all meltdowns. I was at the mall attempting to eat lunch with friends when he suddenly remembered the morning's indignities and decided to get back at me. First he vomited all over himself and his blanket, and then he howled so loud that every head within a fifty foot radius whipped around to see what monster was beating her child.

On a happier note, Benjamin and I had a smashing time at Gymboree yesterday. Unfortunately, he decided to take nap as class was starting. Just as I was berating myself for wasting my husband's money, Benjamin smacked his lips, opened his eyes, and joined in the fun. There he is eyeing a beach ball and then giving Gymbo the Clown his best staredown.

I have to admit that the best part of Gymboree isn't what Benjamin gets out of it, though it is exciting to watch him respond to more and more during each class. The best part of Gymboree is the fact that I get a chance to meet other REAL, LIVE MOMS who are learning how to do this crazy Mommy thing, too! One such mom is Catherine, shown above with darling Lucy. Catherine and I bonded over our babies' love of infant massage and our mutual fear of mommy cliques at the park. Perhaps one day we'll bond over a toast at Benjamin and Lucy's wedding. Oh, wait... I may be getting a bit ahead of myself here. Let's wait for Benjamin to discover his own feet before hoping he discovers his love for Lucy!