Funky Cold Edema

No more stilettos for these puffy, pregnant paws!

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Remember a few weeks ago when I was so thrilled to have miraculously lost a few pounds? Well, that must have been a one-off event, because I was horrified to learn at Monday's checkup that I'd more than made up for that weight loss. Guess I shouldn't have called my fetus a parasite. I derived some comfort from the fact that some of the weight gain could be attributed to edema, as confirmed by my doc after a quick pinch on my red, swollen calf. I explained to my husband that evening over dinner that having edema is just a fancy way of saying that I'm retaining water. His response? "Oh, so you're like a camel?" Undeterred by my vicious scowl, he continued, "So when I go into the desert, I should take you with me!"

Once I'm unswollen enough to kick his ass, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

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NOTE: Upon seeing this post, the Hubby insisted that I credit him for the Tone Loc-inspired title, which he uttered moments before he likened me to a camel.