Clever Little Boys

Every parent thinks his or her child is a genius, and I am no exception: I firmly believe that Benjamin is the brightest, most intelligent, most smartest baby that ever crawled the Earth. I see every little thing he does as proof of that he is a burgeoning prodigy. I mean, take a look at the magnum opus above. You may see the scribbles of a child, but I see the emerging talent of a young artist. A restrained young Jackson Pollack, perhaps.

It should come as no surprise then that every new thing he does I pounce upon with glee in my voice and a camera in my hand. Recently, he made what I saw as great strides in his feeding habits. Instead of my needing to cut his food up into tiny pieces, he began picking up his food whole and either taking bites out of it or tearing small pieces off to feed himself. What did I tell you? He's a GENIUS!

It turns out that Benjamin isn't the only quick learner. Oliver has learned that Benjamin's stomach isn't big enough to eat the large portions that he can now grab, and that if Oliver waits long enough, he will benefit from all that uneaten food.

Did you see that? The two are in cahoots! As outraged as I sounded in that video, however, I have to admit that was a pretty impressed by what slick team they made.

Vince also demonstrated to me how clever he is. We were out shopping the sales when I found a great pair of yoga pants. I don't do yoga, but some of the positions I contort myself into trying to chase after Benjamin should count for something. In any case, I tried the pants on and asked Vince if he liked them. He looked up briefly from his iPhone and said, "Mm-hmmm." Inspecting my rear in the mirror, I expressed concern that they were too snug and asked him if they looked like pants or tights. He replied, "Are they supposed to be pants or tights?" Wow. Could I not get a straight answer out of this man? So finally, I asked, "If you saw another woman wearing these pants, would you try to turn around and look at her butt?" He paused, rolled his eyes, and then walked away. I realized then that I had inadvertently asked a question to which there was no good answer. Say "no,"and I'll take it to mean that the pants don't look good on me. Say "yes," and you're admitting to being a total slimeball. At that moment, I was filled with admiration: it takes a pretty smart man to know that he's being asked a trick question by his wife, even when she doesn't realize she's asking one!

And in case you're wondering, I bought the pants.