Creatures of Habit 7 or Do Squeeze the Charmin!

As I've mentioned in previous posts, my Dad is obsessed with Charmin. Each time he visits the States, he'll bring a large, empty suitcase to fill with rolls and rolls of the soft goodness to use once he returns to China. Somehow, the details of his toilet tissue proclivities caught the attention of Virginia Wilcox, an ad rep for Charmin all the way in the Big Apple. She sent me this email:

Hi Lily,

I read in your blog that your family loves Charmin! I work with Charmin bathroom tissue and I wanted to send you an email about Charmin Ultra Soft's partnership with HGTV's designer Frank Fontana. I would love to send you a free kit that has a demo of how much you can save by using Charmin Ultra Soft instead of the leading value brand, as well as fun decorating tips from Frank Fontana of HGTV’s “Design on a Dime.”

Charmin Ultra Soft is designed with absorbent cushions that allow you to use less versus other leading brands. Charmin Ultra Soft is so soft and absorbent that you can use seven sheets of Charmin Ultra Soft versus 28 sheets of the leading value brand. Please let me know if you're interested; I would be happy to send you a kit! Enjoy your day!

Yours, Virginia for Charmin

Unlike my father, I wasn't a Charmin user; I was a longtime Target-brand toilet tissue devotee. However, I wasn't about to turn down an offer of free TP. So, I replied, "Heck, yeah!" and several weeks later, a package arrived on my doorstep.

.

Inside the package was a pretty blue box from Charmin and a scented flameless candle thingy from Febreze. I really wanted to like the candle, but it just made my home smell like a chic-chic department store instead of the sweaty toddler romper room that it is. The Charmin box, however, came in quite handy. It was the perfect height for Boo to sit on, so for about a month as we worked our way through our existing stash of Target-brand TP, he used it as additional seating in his playroom.
.

Fast forward one month later after all the Target TP has been used up. I opened the package to find four rolls of Charmin Ultra Soft, two sample stacks of toilet tissue (one of Charmin, one of another brand), and a removable flash drive. I found the presence of the flash drive to be rather odd. It was positioned between the two pillowy soft mounds of toilet paper, which instantly made me think that I was supposed to stick it in my-- Nevermind.

.

I have to be honest with you - I wasn't expecting to like the Charmin toilet paper. It's more expensive than other brands, and I didn't have any complaints about the current brand I was using, so why would I switch? Also, how different can one little square of TP be from the next, anyway? The answer: VERY DIFFERENT. When I used Charmin for the first time, I was shocked by how apparent this was. At the risk of sounding like I work for Charmin, the stuff is pretty awesome. Not only is it softer than Target TP, but it's thicker, and that additional weight means that I can use less of it, which means that I don't have to buy it as much, which means that I can spend that money on other things like gummy bears and salt'n'vineager chips and pickles and ice cream and-- Sorry, those were the hormones talking. Anyway, suffice it to say, I'm a Charmin convert now.

.

The only downside to my newfound love of Charmin is that I am now a toilet paper snob. I'll bet you didn't realize it was even possible to be snobby about what you wipe your *ss with, huh? Well, it is, and I am. Whenever I have to use a public restroom or even a friend's bathroom where a non-Charmin brand is provided, a feeling of bitter disappointment washes over me. "Why, oh, why, must I be forced to touch my delicate areas with this sandpaper?" It's not enough to make me carry an emergency stash of Charmin in my purse, but it is enough to make me stop making fun of my Dad. After all these years of laughing at his Charmin-filled, China-bound suitcases, I finally understand!

.